Holy moly. Where did the first two and a half months of 2010 go? I know we say this sort of thing all the time–– about every year/ month/ day–– but this is unbelievable.

[Happy belated daylight savings time, by the way. That is, except for you, Arizona. Sorry you missed the fun. Maybe next year? Probably not. But you can email Senator McCain anyway–– I hear he's been talking about "change" a lot lately. Save daylight? Yes. We. Can.]

Where did my March Part A go?

Here’s how my 359 hours (15 days x 24 hours= 360 hours – 1 hour daylight savings= 359 hours) divvy up:

1. Sleep= approx. 101 hours
2. Quality time with friends + fiancé= approx. 41 hours
3. Freelance work search= approx. 35 hours
4. Wedding/ honeymoon planning= approx. 33 hours
5. Apartment/loft/ house hunting= approx. 26 hours
6. Writing= approx. 24 hours
7. Prayer room + Church= approx. 22 hours
8. Personal (reading, praying, etc.)= approx. 18 hours
9. Driving (my car + IHOP shuttles)= approx. 16 hours
10. Eating= approx. 9 hours
11. Stuffing, sealing, stamping wedding invitations= 5 hours 23 mins
12. Shopping (grocery, wedding-related, etc.)= 4 hours 33 mins
13. Talking on the phone= 4 hours 29 mins
14. Meetings= approx. 4 hours
15. Filling out NCAA Tourney brackets= approx. 1 hour
* Who knows?= 16 hours 35 mins

Stuffing, sealing, and stamping wedding invitations took a total of 5 hours and 23 minutes of my time this March.

There you have it. Honestly, I’m not particularly proud of my time usage so far this month. But real life, not the niche fantasy I’ve been living in for the last few years of my life here at IHOP, requires such time. And, so far, I’m not particularly acclimated to non-fantasy life.

This is about the time of year when we realize how poorly we’ve done on our New Year’s resolutions. Though I didn’t have any this year (perhaps to my disadvantage), I’m beginning to feel slight regret and disappointment concerning my year to date. And, my tendency at this point is to think like a daylight-wasting Arizonan (you know, the old ‘maybe next year’ attitude). I’m such an all-or-nothing individual. One stumble–– one accident–– and I’m ready to call it quits. I do this with Bible-reading, praying, and fasting along with writing, exercising, and bedtimes. Is this God’s will?

Absolutely not–– that’s my answer. If I’ve learned anything in my years of tottering after Jesus, I’ve come to understand that He is longsuffering. He is slow to anger. He doesn’t leave me in the dust, as He triumphs on to righteousness, but He is always with me–– never forsaking me.

Thankfully, Jesus is unlike any man I’ve met. His patience is unprecedented.

So, as I continue to lose my faith in my abilities, I’m thinking I’ll give way, more and more, to grace.

One day, in the seemingly distant future, I’ll be like Him. If I love Him, and don’t quit, I win. End of story.

Well, that was a smorgasbord. Take what you’d like from it.

-a time-wasting, daylight-saving, resilient recipient of grace

Postscript I: If you’re a resident of Arizona, I may have gotten a little carried away. Please don’t do anything you’ll regret later–– like forcing me to waste daylight with you, etc.

Postscript II: This post was way (way, way) overdue. My bad. (I didn’t have any time).

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Guest Post: Andrew Chen

About a month and a half ago, my good friend Andrew Chen posted the following post on his site (see blogroll). I love his heart for justice, his motive for making this shirt, and his creativity. I own a ‘Nothing But The Blood’ shirt and dig it. If you buy one, you’ll dig it too.

[By the way, soon, a lot of you will be receiving an invitation to my wedding that was made by Andrew].

Nothing But The Blood

**********************************************************************************************************************
A few months ago, while spending time with Jesus, I felt a tug on my heart about His passion for justice. At that time, the Holy Spirit struck my heart with this message and gave me this image.

I’ve been waiting for the Lord to show me what to do with these T-Shirts since November. After events and encounters that the Lord has been highlighting to me over the past few months, I’ve decided to debut this project on the internet to raise funds and encourage intercession for two specific areas:

1. Adoption
The impact of Derek Loux’s passing stirred my heart to sow into the movement of adoption that he spent His life serving. The Lord’s desire to defend the poor and the fatherless has been gripping my heart. The Josiah Fund is an opportunity to partner with the Lord and believers to serve special needs orphans in a community of prayer.

2. Haiti Earthquake Relief Efforts
The sobering events surrounding the Haiti Earthquake were an intense reminder that the day of Christ’s return is drawing near. In the coming crisis, there will be no hope of compassion or justice apart from Christ. While we have the opportunity, we should desire to see the Church cultivate a heart that stands with Christ in prayer, love and humility, ready and able to to do the work He has called us to. In this time of Haiti’s crisis, I want to sow into the mission of preaching of the gospel and the defending the poor and afflicted.

This project will be maintained through F!GHT, a small ministry/clothing company to the underground music scene run by my friend Stephen and I. You can help partner with this effort by purchasing a Nothing But the Blood Shirt or spreading the word.

Description from F!GHT Clothing Humanity is no stranger to pain. The deceit, disaster and wickedness increasing in our world leaves countless lives battered, broken and desperately in need of healing and salvation. As we continue to witness devastation in our lives, it is becoming apparent that human kindness is not an endless resource. But though our compassion has a limit, the love of Jesus Christ endures without end. While love grows cold around us, there is a tender call resounding from the words of God to the hearts of those He loves, “Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy. Show kindness and mercy to one another. Go into the world and proclaim the gospel to all creation. Whoever believes will be saved.” Today there are approximately 150,000,000 orphans in our world; over 5,000 are added to that number daily. In the United States, 50% of children live in a home without a father. In recent days, the cataclysmic earthquake in Haiti left 100,000 dead in moments. 1/3 of Haiti’s population has been directly affected and the death toll is suspected to climb to 500,000. Pain, suffering and brokenness surround us, and though we relentlessly strive to mend with kindness the affliction in our world, our efforts alone are mere band-aids on the fatal wounds of sin and adversity. Our only lasting hope for real peace, justice, truth, and love is found in Jesus Christ alone. With F!GHT, we want to take seriously God’s call to lay down our lives to serve the afflicted and preach the good news of Jesus and His kingdom. It is burning in our hearts to rally one another to follow Christ in a prayerful labor of love. Our mission with Nothing but the Blood is to help deliver the glorious hope of eternal life with Jesus and the compassionate endeavor of critical support and relief to orphans and those affected by the earthquake in Haiti. 100% of the profit from these shirt sales will help fund the rescue and adoption of special needs orphans as well as the earthquake relief efforts in Haiti. With equal passion, we want to urge everyone who loves Jesus to talk with Him about justice. Discover the depth of His love toward the lost, poor, and fatherless, then take up His cause. A fistful of dollars will reach the end of its usefulness, but the lovingkindness of our God and Savior, Jesus Christ will never fail.

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Two years ago today, I returned from a six-month trip through Southern Africa. While the trip was fruitful and goals were accomplished, Africa caught me by surprise.

Many of us [most of us, I assume] have had glimmers of fantasy concerning Africa. We imagine ourselves holding orphaned black children, dancing to beating drums around fires, and preaching to the masses. In such fantasies, we look rugged. Men, we have beards and dirt on our faces. Women, you have your hair pulled back and a long skirt on. Such reveries are common.

When we see Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, Oprah, Madonna, and Bono performing their various humanitarian exploits in such an iconic fashion, it’s only natural to desire to do the same. We can’t help it. [Messiah Complex is contagious].

The reality I returned with on February 15, 2008 was completely different than the fantasy I developed when purchasing airfare, reading travel guides, and packing bags. Although I had once before visited Africa, it was only for two weeks. A measly two weeks, I now concur.

While still at the airport, with friends and family wishing “safe travels” and “bon voyage,” my excitement was difficult to contain. I was absorbed in romanticism. Six months, I thought, would be far too short–– only a whetting of my appetite for the continent. Little did I know, however, that those six months would be some of the most wearisome (emotionally, physically, and spiritually) months of my life.

My friend Cam and I travelled to many corners of Southern Africa–– through Malawi, Mozambique, Zambia, and Zimbabwe. Our trip was filled with adventure, joy, and ministerial success.

And mundaneness.

And loneliness.

And feebleness.

And disappointment.

Being the dangerously optimistic person that I am, many of my expectations were unmet at the consummation of our trip. The satisfaction I had hoped for (through opportunities at heroism, benevolence, and conditional contentment) was hardly obtained… When I returned home, there was still a void inside.

I’ve concluded that I was jaded by the common romanticized portrayal of Africa. I had unrealistic expectations of the continent. I thought I’d live happily ever after on red soil in the company of smily black people, enjoying beautiful sunsets, exotic wildlife, soccer, and mangoes. (Naïvety at its finest). The same emptiness that I sought to fill during my African expedition haunted me on February 15, 2008.

The weeks and months that followed my return to the States were crucial. It was up to me to work up another hankering to fill that lingering void. It was my job to grapple with expectations unmet and dreams unfulfilled. In that season, I found a Man who could help me with this. He affirmed me, mending my broken places. He gave to my heart a certain balm, anointing, to help it recover. He plundered my negative thoughts and feelings of disappointment. And I rallied to victory, gaining fresh perspective.

So, this is my counsel to any and all who dream of third-world long-term ministry: look to Jesus to fulfill your dreams. Don’t allow Africa (nor Asia, Europe, Oceania, South America, urban America) obliterate your expectations, because it (they) will. To all who are allured by understaffed orphanages and remote villages: be wooed by God, not the transformation nor revolutionization of those places. To all who dream of happiness amidst poverty and shoddy conditions: fantasize of happiness with Jesus, regardless of setting. Conditions, cultures, heroism, charity, travel, and people in and of themselves will never (ever) satisfy you.

[If I'm coming across as burnt out/ regretful/ let down, I'm getting my point across].

That’s what I learned on my trip to Africa.

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[Please imagine Haddaway is serenading you with his sensational What is Love? (click the link for such a serenade as you read). It's Valentine's Day!]

Really, I’ve never loved Valentine’s Day. I especially don’t love it now that I’ve graduated the fifth grade and no longer receive Valentine’s cards and candy from every classmate. That was superb. But I think I prefer Arbor Day now.

[Were it not for Valentine's Day, though, we may have never had this, which had me bellowing in laughter yesterday].

As I ponder the “holiday of love,” I can’t help but notice our society’s lack of understanding of love. February 14 is the annual celebration of an ambiguous, uncertain idea that is defined differently by all.

Yet, for being such a curious concept, love gets a great deal of attention from us. It’s applied to almost everything–– television, chocolate, garments, and beaches. Every media expression has taken a stab at defining it, and philosophers have ceaselessly strived to put it into the most brilliant arrangements of words they can assemble. And all for not; a dominant conclusion has yet to be reached. The Pope says one thing while Gandhi, Johnny Cash, Dr. Phil, and Zooey Deschanel all say another–– all with a certain layer of mystery.

And the ambiguity doesn’t stop in Hollywood/ Nashville/ the Vatican/ the philosophical arena. It’s distinct in the lives of average Americans. In a contest going on today, the New York Times challenged readers to define love. Some compare it to the measles–– something necessary which is to be endured. Others call it “the only power that can change the world.” And some limit it to a hormonal reaction.The most popular Christian answer to the question of love is derived from Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

[And, for me, here's the windfall of the holiday].

Most of us are quite familiar with this verse. Many of us, I’m sure, could use this as a reminder of how to treat our Valentine. But, more than that, I’d like to remind us of the One who is love itself–– the One whose character is a perfect canvas of the above characteristics.

Love is a man. A Man. Look no further, Haddaway–– there is a clear answer to your question. Jesus.

When He walked among us, He was a walking definition. “Love” was written all over him. He dealt a death blow to ambiguity and was a perfect representation of His Father, Who is love.

Let this Valentine’s Day be not only a time to receive chocolates and smooches and cards. Let it be a time to receive Love Himself. Don’t dance around philosophically obscure ideas of “love”–– one of the most used, but undefined words, in our culture. But rejoice at the definition–– Jesus. He came, in part, to diffuse so much mystery. And the mystery of love was one He made expressly clear through every action and breath, word and gesture, smile and frown.

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